I've found myself once again stuck in that strange state transients are so familiar with, in which, on account of moving across the country, you are not progressing because you feel as if you can just start fresh once you move. It's kind of a paradox, because in theory, the idea is that you would want to try to cram everything in with what time you have left: sustaining friendships, cartographical explorations of your city, shows you wouldn't see elsewhere. But it hasn't worked that way for me. Before Montreal, I had certain ideas about whom I wanted become, and after becoming dissillusioned (yes, with myself) I once again decided to push these aspirations back untill my relocation. I think the most important thing i've learned really is that Art really IS hard.
I've been accepted to Mount Royal College, also. I don't know if i'm going to go yet.
II.
I've been having an extremely disturbing recurring dream, something I have no idea how to deal with. Untill now I've hardly been able to remember my dreams at all, and the ones I do remember are usually just casual sexual encounters or having my teeth fall out, which i understand are both very common. This dream kind of plays out as i'm the caracter Cliff in Crimes & Misdemeanors. With Woody Allen himself as the charachter of Prof. Levy We sit and talk, and i'm taking a lot of notes and watching very closely, because i think i'm supposed to be making a documentary of him. But he is talking about life as an eternal void, as if completely meaningless. And he mentions he regrets any hopeful element in his films thus far, and denounces all of them. And when he gets to talking about a master/slave psychic dynamic and how people become the latter out of a resentment for those who are optimistic about life. Then he kills himself. In no particular way really, he just ends up dead, but it's clear it is self inflicted. Then all of a sudden If becomes objective and I am no longer in the room with him but i am watching his body and his wife somes in then just looks really sad. That's it.
It's really intense, i've had this dream about 4 times now, and I have no idea what it means or why i'm having it now. It's actually quite distressing. Sorry to get all dark on you all.
III.
Holy Crap, Micheal Gira is the most visceral motherfucker on the planet. Also possible contender for best album cover this year:
Angels of Light - We Are Him
2 comments:
Starting fresh is wonderful, like in grade school when you got a whole new unit and had to decorate a duo-tang especially for the work you would be doing for the next week or so.
There's nothing quite like newness and second-third-fourth-chances at doing whatever it is that you tell yourself you ant to be doing, huh?
Also, when does your zine come out?
That album cover blows my mind.
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